Alexis Moonlight, Character Confessions, cyberpunk, Dark Erotica, dystopia, dystopian, erotica, Interracial romance, Knights, New Adult, Sanjay Rahim, The Cross Knight Chronicles, Urban Fantasy, Vampire Romance, Vampires
Yvonne Nicolas had the nerve to ask me if I was in love with Alexis Moonlight.
I hadn’t thought about it until she asked. I found myself stumbling on the notion. Me, in love with Moonlight? I can’t say it isn’t a possibility. To be honest, I’m not supposed to feel anything for her, given the fact that she’s my ward, more or less the core of my mission. I may be a superior knight who gets off on killing vampires, but I’m still human. That means every now and then I fall prey to my emotions.
We’ve been lovers for… let’s see… three years, I think. When we jumped headfirst into our aggressive sexual relationship, we agreed it would be just sex. Nothing more. I tried hard not to get sucked in too deep with her, but after a while, something unexpected happened. I started to have feelings.
I remember the moment I found myself at a standoff with her. We’d had an argument earlier that day. It served as foreplay for me, but not so much for her. She was infuriated with me. In hindsight, she had good reason to be.
She wanted to leave the mission site and I wanted her to stay. As always when I’m around her, I let my emotions to get the best of me. I grabbed her in a not so gentle manner. She responded the only way she knew how to, with lethal force. I hadn’t drawn my weapon, but that didn’t stop her from shoving the barrel of her pistol into my stomach.
It was a snap move, one I hadn’t foreseen. It both pissed me off and aroused me at the same time. My cock was so hard, it hurt.
I knew there were eyes on us. The mission site was littered with knights. At the time, I didn’t know what to do. If I didn’t release her, she would shoot me. I knew that for sure because she was crazy like that. However, if I did let her go, that would be another stab at my ego. I didn’t mind giving her a little power over me, but a man of my caliber could only take so much.
Her friend, Cole, wedged his body between us and pushed us apart. He said something about having a problem for our solution. Or maybe it was the other way around. I don’t know.
My first thought was to tune him out and deal with her properly, but I couldn’t. Not when there were so many fellow knights watching us. I held onto her scowl, gifting her with my own narrow-eyed glower. I heard myself grumble, “Listening.”
“We can run a perimeter sweep,” Cole said.
I cut my eyes at him for a split second. “What?” Then I whipped them back on her furious face. Goddammit, she’s so beautiful when she’s enraged.
“Some of the hostiles are liable to get past this sector, like earlier. With me and Alex running the perimeter…”
I don’t remember what he said because the rest of his words faded out. All I could see was her. All I could hear was her. Her angry panting washed across my mind. It mingled with the memory of her breathy moans and sensual cries. My whole body hardened. Fuck! I wanted her, right then and there! I almost shoved Cole aside and made a go for her.
Cole’s voice came back in and rushed my erotic thoughts away. He glanced over his shoulder at Alexis. “Good idea? Right, Alex?”
Sneering at me, she clucked her tongue and turned her back to us. “I don’t care. I just don’t wanna be here.”
She huffed out a groan of frustration and stalked away. Her hips swayed with her demanding strut, making her armored tasset and shoulder cape flare. She not once cast those pretty eyes back at me.
That’s the thing. I always like to see her storm away, but I never like to let her go. “Stay on her,” I ordered Cole without taking my eyes off her sexy ass retreat.
He snorted then countered, “I always do.”
I pinned him with a wide glare only to get a teasing grin in return. I knew his comment was meant as an underhanded quip, but that shit rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t care how gay he was, I didn’t like his relationship with Alexis. Not one bit. Teeth clenching, I growled, “Watch yourself, Officer Davis.”
Cole laughed and jogged after her. From the day he’d been appointed to train her, they’d been inseparable. Their friendship was instantaneous, which was unnerving to me. He didn’t show it much, but I knew he had a thing for her. Gay or straight, it was impossible for any man to be in her presence for an extended amount of time and not feel some kind of way about her.
Someone walked up behind me. “Oye, looks like you haven’t quite figured out how to keep that sassy-bit in line, Vice-Commander Sanjay Rahim.”
I had to take a deep calming breath before turning to face the owner of the annoying voice—JR. “Come again?” I would’ve responded with my fist, but striking the Chief Commander’s son would offer trouble I didn’t need. So, I kept my cool. For the time being.
A smug grin crossed his face. “She drew a pistol on you, in front of the other squads, and you did nothing. What kind of example does that set?” A chuckle carried his snobbish tone. “I told father you couldn’t handle her. Should’ve let Lopez spearhead that disobedient piece of ass.”
Heat rushed to my head and exploded behind my eyes. Despite my anger, I managed a smile. I wrapped my hand around the handle of my sword and nodded past him. “Better go catch up with your squad before you get left behind.”
“You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”
“They’re getting further and further away.” Squeezing the hilt, I stepped in closer. “Not good to get separated from your pack during a mission of this magnitude. Unfortunate things can happen.”
He backpedaled, seeming agitated. His bright green eyes danced then his smugness reappeared. He puffed his chest out and pulled his shoulders back as if to stand his ground.
I found it amusing that he thought he was untouchable. I had been dying to prove him wrong. Sure, he was bigger than me, but I was faster. I could’ve disembodied that fool in the blink of an eye and no one would’ve been the wiser.
“While you’re getting all cozy between her dark legs, remember she’s your mission,” he had dared to say. “Keep her in line or—”
I snatched my blade halfway from its casing, allowing him to see the silvery gleam.
Emerald eyes stretched wide, he leaped back and made a late grab for his sword. “I see you’ve misplaced your mind, Vice-Commander,” he gritted out. “You’re actually going to draw on me, while my father, your commanding officer is on site?”
“From this day forward, I suggest that you say nothing else to me. That is, if you’d like to keep your tongue.”
He took a few unsteady steps back, his face stained in shock. “You’re a madman.”
“Yes.” Slowly, I slid my blade back into its sheath. “That means I won’t be responsible for my actions if you don’t heed my warning.”
He blinked rapidly. He opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to say something. Then without another word, he turned and rushed off to join his squadron.
As I think back on that moment, I can’t help but smile. I did a lot of things out of my nature. You see, I’m the perfect knight in this Blood War. I always follow orders and I get the job done, no matter how many obstacles stand in my way, but that day I was ready to break protocol. That day, I wanted to kill that motherfucker from the bottom of my heart! But I restrained myself. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that a second time.
So back to the question Yvonne asked me. Do I love Alexis Moonlight?
Hmm… It’s clear I will kill for her and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt afterwards.
So, guess that means my answer is yes.
~ Vice Commander Sanjay Rahim (Alexis Moonlight – Book 1)